A sign of the apocalypse
by fighting the propaganda
Summary: This is a crossover of a lot of different things, but it is mainly a Harry Potter fanfic about the new Order of the Phoenix, which happens to have some very interesting characters in it, including a resurrected Sirius Black.It was written by a 10yearold b
1. Chapter 1

A Sign of The Apocalypse

Chapter One

"Let's go to pie land!" I said.

"Kolt, first of all, I doubt there is a place called pie land. Second of all, the Death Eaters have probably destroyed it." Luke Duke said.

"Holy shit, Bo!" Billie Joe Armstrong yelled, because Bo Duke had just launched the General Lee over a tanker truck, yelling "Yee-ha!" and honking the Winn-Dixie horn. The General skidded down the street on the left front and left rear wheels, sliding by the newly reformed Order of the Phoenix. Bo was definitely the rowdiest member, although the resurrected Sirius Black gave him a run for his money.

The entire order was gathered in the parking lot of the Boar's Nest. Kolt Duke, Bo's long lost, but recently found, ten-year-old brother, was busy unloading the assault weapons. Arthur Weasley had been hovering around Kolt all day. He had to be reminded repeatedly that they were firearms, not "firelegs."

Professor McGonagall was looking very pleased, probably because Mundungus Fletcher had finally been removed from the Order. Standing next to her, and giving a nervous laugh at random intervals, was Willy Wonka. Kolt's cousin, Kristyn Starstrella, was looking longingly at this purple-clad candymaker. Kristyn could barely lift an M16, but she was very skilled at any kind of magic, having attended Hogwarts at a time when Albus Dumbledore was still alive. She, along with Harry, Ron, and Hermione, had left in her sixth year, and wound up in the Order of the Phoenix. She did not hesitate to use even the darkest of spells, including Sectumsempra and the Cruciatus curse, against those who deserved it. She had met Bellatrix Lestrange in a dark alley once, and that was one Death Eater they didn't have to worry about anymore.

One more that they could cross off their list was Lucius Malfoy. Kolt Duke was a squib, but he was nothing to reckon with if he had any kind of weapon with him. Lucius found out first hand why there was a ban on assault rifles in America.

As Lucius lay bleeding in the cornfield and Kolt walked away, feeling quite pleased with himself, Kristyn stayed behind. The blue eyes were still open, the mouth still trembling. Kristyn knelt down beside the dying Death Eater, and asked softly, "Was it worth it, Mr. Malfoy? Was it worth spending your entire life serving an evil wizard, then finally dying in a cornfield?" She smoothed his blonde hair while waiting for an answer.

"No…I…regret," and it was over. The eyes closed, the heart stopped, and Kristyn left his side.

Back at the Boar's nest…

Having lost hope of getting Willy Wonka's attention, and having tired of the Weasley twins' relentless teasing, Kristyn sought out their brother, Ron. He had been standing by himself, shuffling his feet.

"So, what do you think of the newest members of the order? The Muggles? Did you ever expect to fight alongside James Bond?" she asked Ron. He smiled slightly.

"Well, knowing your cousin, I kind of expected he'd recruit Mr. Bond. But Anakin Skywalker? That was a surprise, wasn't it? We still don't know who contacted those Jedi. Have you seen them use the force? It's like magic, but, different…"

"Yeah, and that rock band - Green Day - they've gotten the word out that Lord Voldemort is back. Did you know the American president pledged allegiance to the Dark Lord last week? I always knew there was something off about that George…"

A shout rang off the trees. "EVERYONE! MEET ME BEHIND THE BOAR'S NEST, PLEASE!" Kristyn recognized Kolt's voice, and she and Ron followed the order.


	2. Chapter 2

"Now,in front of you is the m16 assault rifle, designed by eugiene m. stoner. in 1954 for use of air force guards,army officials saw the guards and demanded that the army gets the m16,so, now they are standard issue united states and united kingdom weapon. Now- ARTHUR DONT PULL THAT!" Kolt said

"Why?" he asked.

"Do you know what will happen?" Kolt yelled, "You could kill someone!"

"Now muggles and cousin,you know how to use one, or the majority do."Kolt explained.

(billie joe probably didn't.)

"This is just target practice for you guys,but harry, you probably don't know how to shoot,even growing up with muggles..."

"Anyway just pick it up, now pull that lever back,aim,and fire."

Then all of a sudden the cornfield was amidst a sea of gun shots.ptwo-ptwo-ptwo-!

"HOLD!"Kolt yelled

Then sheriff Rosco showed up...

_"why'd that bloke have to show up?"_Kolt thought.

"Alright, hold it!"Rosco ordered.

"Since when do _you_ give orders around _my_ bar!" Kolt threw at him.

"On account of illegal weaponry."He said.

"What the...? I owned these guns before the ban!"Kolt protested.

"Prove it."He said childishly

"Alright look!"Kolt said showing him the date on them.

"Well im taken you in anyway!" He said.

Then the next few moments were quite painful to Rosco, for Kolt had just kicked him in the nuts.

"Hey Ginny, come help Bo & Luke put him in the trunk!"Kolt said.

Ginny walked over and did the following jinx:

"Petrificus Totalus!"She yelled.

Suddenly Rosco was as still as a board.

Next, Bo and luke came over and put him in the trunk.

"Nice ginny!" Kolt complimented.

"Thank you Kolt," She said.

Then Bo and Luke drove off in the General Lee.

"I wonder where Boss Hogg is?"Kolt asked Bo & Luke when they got back.

"Well by the looks of things hes got his fat ass in London somewhere."answered Bo.

"Well then pack your bags, next stop London!"Kolt said.


End file.
